LIZARD GIRL is a Harold Team and intramural basketball team at Washington Improv Theater.

You will know a LIZARD GIRL when you see her. You’ll know her by her walk, her talk, her this and her that; her strength, her style, her reptilian wiles.

You’ll sense her presence all around you, and will come to find that:

A LIZARD GIRL strikes like a dragon, sneaks like a gecko, and shapeshifts like a chameleon.

A LIZARD GIRL is confident in the boardroom; she leans in and takes a seat at the table.

When it’s time for a party, a LIZARD GIRL locks the doors, lowers the blinds, fires up the smoke machine, and puts on her heels.

A LIZARD GIRL doesn’t need a dim — because she’s already blacked out.

A LIZARD GIRL is a Whopper in the streets, but a McPick 2 in the sheets.

A LIZARD GIRL can tie a knot in a cherry stem.

A LIZARD GIRL can tell when you’re pregnant *six weeks* before other name-brand tests can.

A LIZARD GIRL requires a high-coverage health plan.

A LIZARD GIRL doesn’t always go to the hospital, but when she does, she prefers Sibley.

A LIZARD GIRL’s name has a “G” you pronounce. 😉

A LIZARD GIRL forgives, but she does not forget.

A LIZARD GIRL once hired Hanson to play her Bat Mitzvah, but they broke contract and didn’t play “Lucy.” She has not forgotten.

A LIZARD GIRL is a cute boy in a plaid shirt at a BBQ.

A LIZARD GIRL is staying out late on a school night.


In the game of Truth or Dare, a LIZARD GIRL always selects “dare,” because she’s already living her truth.

Did the dog eat a LIZARD GIRL’s homework? No. She did.

A LIZARD GIRL haunts her own funeral.

A LIZARD GIRL gets under your skin.

A LIZARD GIRL may shake you, a LIZARD GIRL may break you.

A LIZARD GIRL may kill off half the cast every show.

But a LIZARD GIRL always leaves you wanting more.

LIZARD GIRL: She gives you that weird feeling.

Photo by Jeff Salmore

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